Jokes

Pills
An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I’d like to have some birth control pills." Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you’re 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better." The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?" The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice and I sleep better at night."

I am worried
Patient to optometrist: I’m very worried about the outcome of this operation, doctor. What are the chances?Optometrist to patient: Don’t worry, you won’t be able to see the difference.

Old men
A man, 95 years old, is told by his doctor that he has tested positive for HIV. Distraught and befuddled, he retires as usual to spend the afternoon at the park bench with other senior citizens. He tells his friend, "Can you believe it? I have HIV...at 95!" His friend replies, "You think you have troubles? I have IBM at 85!"