Jokes

Do you know?
A Man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!" The voice from the other side responded,"You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?" "No", replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!" The man shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?" "No.", replied the Managing Director. "Good!", replied the trainee and put down the phone!

Man and his wife
A man and his wife went to the company Christmas party where the man has a little too much to drink. He staggers down the stairs, completely hung over, and makes his way to the breakfast bar. His wife poors him a cup of coffee. With his head in his hand, he asks "Damn, honey." "What happened last night?" She replies, "It wasn't a pretty sight." He asks, "What do you mean?" "Well" she replies, "You were not on your best behavior and your boss was extremely upset." "He was", he moans. "Yes" she replies, "He sure was." "Aahhh, PISS ON HIM!" he says. "You did," she replies. "Honey, You got fired last night." "I got fired?" he questions. "Yes" she answers "You got fired" "Aahhh, FUCK HIM!" he says. She replies, "I did, you start back Monday morning!"

Surprised
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. " Hello ? " "Is your daddy home?" he asked. " Yes ," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" The child whispered, " No ." Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" " Yes ." "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, " No ." Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?" " Yes ," whispered the child, " a policeman ". Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" " No, he's busy ", whispered the child. "Busy doing what?" " Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ," came the whispered answer. Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?" " A helicopter " answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered, " The search team just landed a helicopter ." alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... " ME ."