Jokes

Mice
Three mice are sitting at a bar in a rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse downs a shot of Jack Daniel's, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese." The second mouse orders up two shots of Bombay Sapphire, downs them both, slams each glass into the bar. Turns to the first mouse, and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day. "The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and fuck the cat."

Free drink
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!"
The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my guide dog."
"Oh man,” the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a guide dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar where he asks for a drink.
The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my guide dog."
The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as guide dogs."
The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What? They gave me a Chihuahua?"

Friend
Are o friendwa, tohar smswa ka intejar ma hum mubilewa hath me liye 1 ghantae se baitha hun.Tanik idhar bhi dhayan dai diyo our ekad msgwa bhijwai do..Tohara Dost.

Gayab
Aik Munder main buri neeyat wale gaeb ho jate they.Amitab gya wog gayab, Hirithik gya woh gayab,Akshey gya woh gayab, Ashwarya gai Bhagwan gayab

Fursat
log kahte hai khuda ne tumhe fursat se banaya hoga,,,thik hi kahte hai altu- faltu kam fursat me hi hote hai.

Dance
Boy 2 girl - kya tum mere sath dance karogi. Girl reply - me bacche ke sath dance nahi karti. Boy - Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.